


Castle

by DragonWagonOfCamels



Series: Royal Pains - GBG [2]
Category: Banana Bus Squad, Gay baby gang
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Blind Character, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gen, Horns, Knights - Freeform, M/M, Past Violence, Princes & Princesses, Secret Relationship, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:10:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonWagonOfCamels/pseuds/DragonWagonOfCamels
Summary: Prince Fitz had determination, Smitty had to admit.  He kept on coming back, no matter what.  But being friends with royalty has its ups and downs, especially when you're stuck in a tower all day.John and Toby are struggling to hide their relationship from their friends, unsure of what would come if they did tell.  The two are close as can be, unwilling to keep secrets from each other.  Hiding things is difficult and the truth comes out one way or another.“This is your third time back, I’m beginning to get suspicious.  Don’t princes have better things to do than talk to people in towers?”





	1. Throw Down A Rope

Smitty sat on his bed, tapping the ticks of his clock on his knee.The small bell rang out once, twice, and a third time.He turned to the door, hearing a rusty key be put in.It opened as it always did at 3pm."What happened to your map?" The guard sneered.Smitty shrugged, acting as idle as possible."You can't possibly say that you lost it." He sat down a basket of food at his feet."How fucking dumb do you have to be?" He snapped, grabbing Smitty by the throat."I cannot believe I have to deal with a dumbass little criminal every day." He released him.Smitty gasped for air, coughing.

"I cannot believe I have to deal with an idiot guard every day." He muttered, thinking he was being quiet. 

"What did you just say to me?" He slapped him across the face, "You forget your place, brat." The guard turned and left.Smitty rubbed his face, sighing.  _Shouldn’t have said anything_ , a voice chided.Sometimes he wished he would have just accepted death as punishment and not being stuck in a tower for the rest of his life.

Smitty walked over to the basket of food, searching for what was inside.He set it back down, listening for the guard to leave.He heard him climb onto his horse, muttering a curse and leaving.Smitty hated him with a burning passion, though he was sure there could be worse options.Being called names and getting pushed around was better than straight up torture.Which he knew some guards would be open to doing to him.

Suddenly, the sound of metal scraping brick alerted him of someone outside.He pulled on his hood, propping himself up on his window's edge."Smitty!" A voice called.He jumped, realizing who it was.He smiled, putting his face in his hands.

"Ah, the prince is back?How gracious of you to visit." He said.He had helped Fitz almost a month ago, what was he doing back at the tower?"Why are you here?"

"Well, I thought I should say thank you for your help." He started.Fitz shifted on his feet, staring at the ground. 

"You just did, thanks.Bye." Smitty thought Fitz was an okay person, but he didn't like the idea of company.It was too dangerous.His sentence was called 'isolation' for a reason.He was about to go back into his tower went Fitz called out,

"Wait!" Smitty stopped, waiting for him to continue."Can you, um, can you tell me how to get up there?I kind of want to hang out with you." Smitty turned red, glad his hood was on.Fitz had to be joking, there was no way he got attached to him that easily."I've tried a grappling hook, but that fucking failed, obviously." So that's what the noise was...Smitty leaned out his window, imagining Fitz trying to climb his way up.He could tell him how to get up to him, but it would be risky.

"Go around, just feel around the rocks, one will open the whole wall.Then take the stairs up.They'll be a ring of keys on a hook beside the door." His heart was hammering in his chest, unsure why he was telling him this.He heard Fitz beginning to walk, leaving him alone with his thoughts.Having company would be nice, but being caught with the prince of all people would give him hell if they were caught."You know his schedule." Smitty told himself, "You can be smart about this." He assured. 

What would Fitz think when he saw him, though?He'd never seen him without his hood.He could see his bruises and scars and face and—The door opened.Smitty fought back a flinch, turning around."This is where you live?There's barely anything here." He pointed out.Smitty shrugged, feeling more calm.

"It's not much but it's home for me." Fitz walked around his room, picking up things and studying it.His eyes settled on Smitty, realizing he could finally see him.

"Is there anything under your hood or do you not have a top part of a face?" He joked.Smitty laughed, biting his lip."Or do you just not want me to see?" He stepped a little closer.Smitty moved back.

"I have seven eyes." Fitz was silent for a moment."Oh my god you're so fucking gullible.Who the hell has seven eyes?"

"I didn't really—" Smitty put a finger on his lips, or what he thought was his lips.He touched his chest, scowling.

"Jesus you're tall." He breathed.Fitz chuckled, amused at his realization."And don't act like you didn't believe it for a moment, Princey." Smitty shook his head, crossing his arms.Fitz huffed, imitating his stance.

"So what do you do all day?" He asked.Smitty paused, having to think for a moment."It has to get boring up here.I mean, do you go out in the forest and stuff?"

"Not really..." He sat down on the window, swinging his legs.“What about you?What’s the life of a prince like?” He tilted his head, genuinely curious.Fitz hummed in concentration.

“Well, I spend most of my time with my friends, John, Toby, Swagger, Mason, and a few others.But my dad’s been grilling me about ‘royal duties’ and a bunch of boring stuff.” He explained.“How do you stand it up here?I mean, no offense, but there’s nothing but the view.” He motioned to the window, where the tops of the trees and parts of the castle could be seen.

“As if I could tell.” Smitty put a hand over his mouth, realizing what he’d said.Fitz was silent, processing what he said.“Uh, sorry.I mean, I just can’t...”

“You’re blind.” He finished.Smitty dipped his head, hoping his hood would hide his blush.“It’s better than seven eyes.” Smitty snorted, shaking his head.

“Wow, that’s borederline dark humor.” He said, “I like it.” He moved off the ledge, “Dark humor is like food.Not everyone gets it.”

“Oh my god.” Fitz put a hand over his face, “That’s awful.” He looked to the door, “Hey, would you want to go to the kingdom with me?” Smitty tensed immediately.Fitz’s smile fell.“Is everyt—“

 “No.I can’t leave.Sorry.” He picked at his fingernails, “Why did you come here, Prince Fitz?” He interrogated.“Why bother getting to know the blind dude in a tower?” Smitty held his breath, hearing Fitz get closer.His feet made the floor beneath then creak just loud enough for Smitty to detect.Fitz’s hand touched his face, keeping him still.  Smitty bit back a gasp, wondering how someone’s hands could be so soft.  And warm.  A chill ran down his back, the hair on his neck prickling.

“What can I say?” Fitz grinned, his voice so low that it was barely audible.  Smitty could feel his hand slip behind his head, pulling off his hood and revealing his face.Smitty’s breath hitched, noticing how erratic it was compared to Fitz’s.He hid his shaking hands, uncertain of why Fitz was making him so nervous. “You interest me.”


	2. Brick by Brick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toby and John are so adorable.

Fitz stepped back, dropping his hand.Smitty felt his stomach twist, of course.Now he could see him and Smitty would never see him again.He should have expected it.Smitty was about to put his hood back on when Fitz grabbed his wrists.“Dude...That’s so cool.” He whispered.Smitty opened his mouth to speak, but found himself unable to. 

“What?” He croaked.Fitz giggled, letting go of his wrists.

“You’ve got horns!That’s awesome!” He said.Smitty couldn’t tell if he was lying or not.He couldn’t tell if he was seeing more than his horns.He could be seeing the cross branding under his white hair, he could be seeing the bruise on his cheek, he could be seeing much more.“How’d you get them?”

 “I dunno.I was born with them.” Smitty tried to keep himself in check, on the verge of crying and screaming out of joy.“Not like they’re anything special.” He never saw his horns as anything cool.They weren’t curved or like any lore depicted horns, just short and pointed.Fitz was grinning like an idiot, almost bouncing on his heels.

“‘Nothing special’?Man, I wish I had horns.” He sighed.Smitty twitched, wanting to tell him he was wrong.But he didn’t want to yell at Fitz.He didn’t want to get Fitz mad.He didn’t want Fitz to leave and never come back.“Can I touch them?” He asked.

“...Sure?” No one had ever asked, they didn’t go anywhere near him, in fact.Fitz touched them cautiously, as if they’d snap.Smitty knew they were strong, he’d banged them against the wall as a kid.Fitz admired the base, seeing the skin turn to bone.Smitty was trying not to move as he studied them, hearing him mumble, “wow” once or twice.Fitz pulled away, still smiling.

“That is awesome.Wait until Toby hears about—“ Fitz saw Smitty glare.He cleared his throat, not finishing the sentence.“I’m guessing you don’t want me to tell people you exist?” Smitty nodded.

“Yeah, it’d be better that way.But I’m still open for you being here.It’s nice to have company.” Smitty sat against the wall, motioning for Fitz to join him.He did, eyes flicking between his horns and face.“You said earlier that your dad’s been onto you about kingdom stuff.What’s that like?I haven’t been there in a long time, obviously.” Smitty could never go back either.Though he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to, at this point.

“Boring.All battle strategy,” he rubbed his temples, “It’s confusing and dumb.We have zero enemies.” Smitty patted his arm reassuringly, though he looked happy at Fitz getting worked up.“You really don’t get out much, do you?If you think me complaining about my life is interesting then you must have really low standards for friends.”

“Definitely.They’re, like, in the ground.Buried.So low that it’s on a steady decline to reaching hell.” Fitz put a hand over his chest, gasping dramatically.“Aw, don’t act surprised, Princey.Me having such low standards means you can be the worst person ever and I’ll still like you.” He pointed out.Fitz thought on this for a moment.

“So you’re saying you do want me to tell you about my dumb kingdom stuff?” He questioned.

“Yes, tell me all about how much you hate your dad and how dumb it is.I’m all ears and no eyes.” Fitz choked back a laugh and began talking.

 

***

 

Toby and John walked down the castle’s hallways, calling out Fitz’s name weakly.They’d been charged with finding him before the king decided to send out the whole guard.But they couldn’t care less.Fitz did dumb things all the time, they just weren’t there to see it this time.The two bards never got any time alone, Mason and Swagger bursting in any time that they were near peace.When it wasn’t them, it was Racc, Notorious, Bordie, and so on.They were savoring the moment for as long as possible.

“There’s a bedroom right there.” John persuaded, hand sliding from Toby’s back to his ass.He did the same, giving John a challenging look.

“Oh no.We are not doing anything until I top.” He argued.John let go, throwing his arms up in the air. 

“You topped last time!” He pointed out.Toby scowled.

“Oh please!” He exclaimed, “You topped four times last week, I only topped three.It’s payback.” 

“You keep track?” John yelled, trying to keep a straight face.Toby nodded, trying to hide his smile.The two burst out laughing, leaning against each other.“But seriously I’m topping.” He murmured into his ear.Toby sighed loudly, facing him.

“You’re a stubborn asshole.” He said, kissing him.John picked Toby up.

"I know." He continued walking, feeling Toby begin to braid his hair."Hey, do you have any idea where Fitz may have gone?It's kind of strange that he'd get up and leave without telling any of us." He turned the corner, passing two guards that gave them confused stares.Toby undid the braid, brushing his fingers through his hair. 

"I don't know.Maybe he told Mason.Or Jay.If you're that concerned then we can go ask." He suggested.John looked unamused."Or we can go back to your house and..." He winked, "Do things." John laughed.

"That sounded so lame." Toby threw up his hands, pushing himself out of John's arms.He sped up, holding his head high."I mean I'm so up for it, but c'mon." He slid his hand into Toby's."That was dumb."

"You're dumb." He retorted.They reached the door, swinging open before they reached the handles.  Matt and Mason stumbled in, grabbing at each other's clothes and yelling."That didn't last long." He sighed.He pulled his hand away, earning a sad look from John.The two hadn't told anyone about them, and were far from eager to tell.They watched them bicker, until Matt had spat on Mason'sshoes.

"You did not!I am going to kill you, you tiny dicked cunt!" Mason pulled off his shoe, wiping off the spit on his sleeve.  Matt put his hands on his hips triumphantly.He caught sight of John and Toby, waving.

"Hey!Are you two looking for Fitz, too?" He asked.They exchanged a look, John shrugging.

"Uh, yeah." Toby said.Mason got behind Matt,jumping on his back and pushing him to the ground.  Matt cursed, kicking him off."What have you two been up to?" The two were usually stuck at the top flood of the castle, tending to noble's needs while cursing each other the whole time.

"Well," Mason started, "I was being responsible and looking through town when this idiot," he stared at Matt with disgust, "Said, 'Hey maybe he's at the castle' like a dumbass." Matt stuck out his tongue, getting off the floor."And I said that was dumb because it is and he literally drags me here." John covered his mouth, hiding his smile."And now that you're here, you can tell him that Fitz isn't in the castle."

"We haven't seen him." Toby replied, seeing Matt shrink back in disappointment."But we also haven't checked the courtyard.  Jay and Swagger may have seen him." Matt glared daggers at Mason.

"See?My idea isn't dumb.And at least I had an idea."

"'Meh meh, look at me I'm Matt and I'm so smart'." Mason imitated."And we haven't checked, so you're not right yet." He pointed to the door, "Let's go and prove him wrong." He grabbed John and Toby by their arms, pulling them out the door.

"I don't talk like that." Matt grumbled and followed, shutting the door behind him.

The group walked to the courtyard, which was nearly empty except for a few nobles chatting.They caught sight of Jay and Swagger on the wall of the castle."No, you don't let them burn.That's—that's dumb." Swagger said, shaking his head."Burnt marshmallows are disgusting, dude.You don't burn them or you eat them while they're on fire.It's a fact of life." He handed Jay another marshmallow, eating his own.

"Have you seen Fitz?" Mason called up to them, sending Matt a smug look.Swagger and Jay shook their heads.  Matt stuck out his tongue at him in retort.

"Haven't seen him since this morning." Jay said, "Tell him that only men burn marshmallows." He jabbed a finger at Swagger, who pushed him.He held back a scream, barely managing to not fall. 

"Burnt marshmallows are fucking gross." Mason argued.Swagger laughed, putting his fists in the air. 

"Suck it!" He declared, standing up.

"What?No they're amazing." Matt turned on Mason, "You got a third degree burn from a burnt marshmallow, that's why you don't like them." He taunted. 

"When?Tell me!" Toby said, "What kind of stupid do you have to be to do that?" He smiled, "And they're delicious." He added.John shuddered.

"No.Marshmallows aren't meant to be burned." He replied."But seriously, how do you get a burn from a marshmallow?"

"We are trying to find Fitz, here!" Mason yelled, becoming embarrassed."C'mon, where else would he be?"

"Someone's a pissbaby." Matt whispered to Jay, who choked on his marshmallow.

“Mhm.” He nodded.  Jay swallowed, face scrunching up at the aftertaste.“What about the gardens?Have you guys checkered there yet?He’s usually being all flowery and dramatic over there.” Everyone stared at him, disbelieving.“You guys aren’t the ones who actually have to look after him.He’s the biggest drama queen ever.” Matt coughed. 

“Mason!” He coughed again.Mason punched him in the shoulder, kicking him in the shin to top it off.

“I am not dramatic!Let’s go, already.” He pulled Jay and Swagger off the wall by their feet.The two fell to the ground, cursing at him.The trio headed to the castle’s garden, Matt following.Toby turned to see John, staring at a wall blankly.

“Why don’t we tell them?” He mumbled, grabbing his hand.John locked eyes with him, seeing his sympathetic look igniting something in him.“I don’t like having to hide that we’re together.” He confessed for the tenth time that week.“Who cares who knows.” He hissed, tightening his grip on Toby’s hand.

“Hey,” Toby leaned his head on his shoulder, “I don’t like it either, but we both know it wouldn’t be good.” He reminded.“Whether they know or not, you know that I love you.That’s all we need right now.” He felt John sigh.

“I love you too.”

“Hey!” Mason yelled.They stepped away from each other, turning red.“Are you two coming or not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically all the conversation of these chapters was based off of things that I’ve experienced. I overheard my brother arguing with his boyfriend about who tops and holy shit. Also I don’t like burnt marshmallows, they’re gross.
> 
> Smitty having horns is completely plot relevant and not just because horns are SICK.


	3. Crumbling Foundation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY! I completely forgot McCreamy’s real name, it’s My Bad. I watch, like, three YouTubers named Jay and I can never remember which is which.

Smitty hung his feet out the window, the brick chilling his soles.Spring was beginning and he could feel it.His clock rung out, distracting him.“One...two...three...four.” He counted.He’d woken up half an hour ago, meaning it was either the middle of the night or midday.Smitty didn’t know which was worse.He had stayed up longer than ever, yesterday.Fitz had gone on about a bunch of royalty nonsense that Smitty didn’t exactly understand, but listened to regardless.

Fitz didn’t leave for an hour, saying that his parents would get concerned if he was gone too long.Smitty wondered what it would be like to be worried about.He didn’t think about it too long, busying himself by scribbling what he assumed Fitz looked like.His drawings never turned out good, and he didn't have anything to go off anyways, but it was worth a try.He had put it under his bed, tired of trying.

 The door opened, putting Smitty on edge.Had he counted the time wrong?Maybe it was three.He gripped the ledge of the window, waiting to hear the footsteps.All he could hear was the blood rushing to his ears, heartbeat louder than ever."Dude are you trying to fall?" Smitty relaxed.He smiled, hopping off the window and into his room."Unless you've got an extra pair of wings that you're not telling me about, you are not allowed to scare me like that." Fitz threatened.

"You never know with me, man." Smitty replied.His hands skimmed the wall as he walked, reaching the single chair in the room."Soon you'll find out that I'm actually a demon." He bared his teeth, pretending to hiss."I mean, look at these." He motioned to his horns, "Do these seem angelic?" 

"You have a point." Fitz sat down in front of him, finding a chest. _So that's where he put it..._ Smitty thought.The two guards that were assigned him took fun in moving stuff around while he was asleep.It never got serious besides the few times he had split open his leg and arms."Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot." Smitty shifted, a bad feeling settling in his stomach."Only if I get to ask you something, too." Fitz exhaled loudly, as if he had been holding his breath the whole time.

"Why'd you have that map?I mean, did you have it before you were blind?It wouldn't make sense for you to just have it around." He interrogated.Smitty should have expected it. 

"It really doesn't make sense." He recited.Smitty couldn't tell him that one of the guards had hung it up to spite him.That'd be dumb.He was talking to the prince of the kingdom that had imprisoned him.He needed to think of an excuse, and not a stupid one. _Before you were blind,_ a voice reminded."Uh, yeah.I got it when I was young." He lied.Fitz bit his lip, humming."Can I ask my question, now?"

"Go for it." Fitz smiled.

"What's your kingdom like?" He asked.There was a moment of silence, making Smitty feel like he'd messed up. 

“Well,” Fitz tapped his foot against the floor nervously, “I guess it’s okay.I mean, I don’t know any other places, really.I’m not allowed to travel yet.But everyone’s really friendly.We don’t have many rules or that kind of thing, if that’s what you mean.” Smitty bit back his comment.Everyone’s really friendly, the thought ran through his head over and over.If only he knew the truth.Then again, Smitty couldn’t blame him.He said he didn’t travel much, meaning he had never gone to the outer edges.Smitty scratched his back, irritating an old burn scar.

“Sounds nice.”

“Yeah, it’s totally—“ Fitz stopped.“Am I allowed to ask why you want to know?”

“No.” Smitty shook his head, “Tell me more, though.What’re your friends like?”

"Oh, complete idiots.All of them." There was a hint of caring in his voice, something that Smitty hadn't heard in a long time."Don't know how to do anything, squawk around, but they're good.Loyal, when it comes down to it." Fitz messed with his clothes, lowering his voice."They're really amazing, I think you'd like them." Smitty caught onto the wind of hoping.He brushed it off, instead rubbing his shoulder.

"Yeah, I bet.When'd you meet them?" Fitz took his hand, reminding Smitty of how warm he was.Smitty bit his tongue, trying to prevent himself from thinking that way.Fitz ran his thumb over his knuckles, grazing over the friction burns on his hands.

"I met Toby a few years ago, while I was visiting New Zealand.His family moved over here a few weeks after we left.Then I met Mason because he was trying to climb the castle wall." He groaned a bit, recalling how it had gone.“From there I met everyone through them, since I don’t have as much freedom as them to roam around.” Fitz let go of his hand, making Smitty feel disappointed.He pulled it away, crossing his arms and caving in slightly."How about you?I've been talking this whole time."

"Hm?" Smitty blinked, "Oh, I don't do much, really.I mean, I draw and stuff but it gets kind of boring up here." Not that he could complain.Once in awhile, a nicer and naïve guard would come along listen to his requests.Smitty hadn't met one of those guards in months.One, named Craig, had taken over a guard's shift for over a month.He didn't talk much, but was willing to teach Smitty Braille and gave him a few books.He'd read them so many times that he had almost memorized them."I like to read when I can." He got up, going over to his bed.Smitty lifted his pillow, pulling out the book.“This has to be my favorite.”Fitz took it from his hand.

“‘Fairer-than-a-Fairy’,” he read off.“Didn’t know you were into this kind of stuff.” The sound of fireworks cut him from his next sentence.“Oh damn.” He mumbled.“I need to go, sorry.” Smitty frowned,

 “What’s going on?” He asked.Fits shook his head, going to the door.

“I can’t explain.Bye.” He shut the door behind him.Smitty sighed, cursing himself.Fitz had other things to do, it was a miracle he even wanted to be around Smitty.He took the book from off the chair, setting it back under his pillow.He grabbed his pencil off his bedside, hand grazing something cold.He searched around, getting a hold of it.Smitty traced the shape, throat closing.Keys.Fitz had left the keys. 

“Oh god.” Smitty could leave, right then.Where would he go, though?He had no one, and people would be after him soon if he did.Hesitantly, he opened the door.Smitty cringed at the stale air, stepping out of his room.He hadn’t walked up the staircase since he was 13.He grabbed onto the railing, the wood old and weak.Smitty wanted to run down there.His mind begged him to, wanting to experiencing something beyond what he knew.“Too dangerous,” he said to himself.Smitty locked the door and set them on the hook.He moved back inside, shutting it.

He couldn’t tell if he made a mistake or not.

 

***

 

Fitz ran through the forest, reaching the back of the castle in record time.There were guests everywhere, the guards lining the walls.He would be dead, if he was seen.He was wearing peasantry clothes to one of the most anticipated events of the year for the kingdom.He untied the jacket around his waist, putting it on and flipping up his hood.Fitz hunched over, trying to hide his unmistakable full height.There was no way he was getting through the front door, though.Not looking like he did.

Fitz stuck on the edge of trees, thinking of how he could get to his room to change.Maybe he’d already been spotted by the guards...Fitz stomach twisted at the thought of the trouble he’d get in.Grounded, definitely.No spending time with his friends, extra security, and—oh yeah—never being allowed to be out of sight until he was 30.He turned the corner, slipping into the corner of the marketplace.Moving through the people, he neared the cottage of a resident miracle worker.

 Fitz knocked on the door, tapping his foot anxiously.“What do you want?” Bordie asked.Her eyes widened, “Prince Fitz!” He slapped a hand over her mouth, which she slapped away quickly.“You could have just told me to be quiet, you know.” Bordie stepped out of the way, “What’s up?” She questioned.He pulled off his hood, wiping away his sweat.

“I need to get back to the castle without getting noticed.You got a plan?” He panted, trying to steady his breathing.Bordie looked behind her, humming.She grabbed his sleeve, guiding him into the other room.Bordie pushed a full bookcase out of the way, a book floating and rearranging itself.

“Stop it!” She demanded.The book promptly dropped to the floor.Bordie lead him into a darkened room, flicking on the light switch.“Okay, I’ve got an invisibility potion on hand, but that means payment.” She gave him a sideways glare, reminding him of how in debt he was to her.“Or...” She went into the corner of the room, tossing him a nicer looking jacket and pants.“You can get rid of the stuff you left here last week.” Fitz smiled, seeing his familiar outfit. 

“What would I do without you, Bordie?” He kissed her cheek, beginning to take off his clothed.Bordie punched him in the shoulder, telling him to go somewhere else.

“Die, probably.” Fitz shook his head, recalling how many times the witch had helped him out of his ever growing pile of problems.“I still need those glasses back, though.Don’t leave enchanted stuff around the castle.” She called.Fitz put on his other jacket, brushing the dust off one of the cuffs.

“Will do." He opened the back door.Fitz dodged a car, slipping through the crowds.A hand grabbed the back of his collar, yanking him back.Fitz jolted, unable to breathe.The hand let go.He turned around, searching for who it was.Someone tapped on his shoulder."Jay!" He sighed."Don't scare me like that."

"What are you doing our here?" He asked."Aren't you supposed to be in the ca—" Fitz put a hand over his mouth. 

"Yes, can you help me get back, please?" Jay nodded.Fitz retracted his hand, groaning."Did you just lick my hand?" He whispered.

"Yep.I can get you through the kitchen, Mason and Notorious are working as servers.Then you can get up to your room with them." Jay directed.He pulled out his phone, "C'mon, pick up Swagger."

"Where's Toby and John?" Fitz pushed through the streets, trying to keep up with Jay.Bards were busy around events, but the two had been able to dodge their responsibilities before.Jay didn't answer, just gave Fitz a nervous glance behind him.Fitz wasn't sure what that meant.

"Swagger!Where are you?" Jay listened for a moment, "You're not serious.There are more pressing matters, right now!" Another wait."Yes, I'm happy for you, now wrap it up." He hung up, reaching the gates."Idiot..." Fitz didn't question it.Swagger always got caught up during events, chatting up staff and eating anything he could find.Fitz couldn't blame him, nobles made an effort to look better than they actually did.Both physically and reputation-wise.They made their servants look likewise. 

Jay opened the doors to the kitchen, ignoring their complaints and yelling."Mason!" He shouted. 

"I'm right here, you blind cunt!" He replied."Fitz?Aren't you supposed to be—"

"Yes!Yes, I am.Besides that, can you help?" He interrupted.Mason untied the apron he was wearing, tossing on the table."I'll take that as a yes..." Mason opened the kitchen door, allowing a few people to go ahead before following.He cut into the hallway, making sure to avoid the ballroom completely. 

"So, any reason you're out and about?" Mason opened a door, snapping his fingers and telling Fitz to follow.He walked in, wondering what the purpose was.Of course, there were a few places Fitz had never seen in the castle, but it was filled with nothing but clutter and boxes.

 "Not in particular," he needed to act as if he wasn't sneaking around.If he didn't make it seem like a big deal, then Mason wouldn't ask any other questions."Just got a little bored, decided to go out."

 "Really?" He sent Fitz a bored look."That's bullshit, Fitz.You're the poster child of the kingdom, if you were just going out then I would have known." He pushed a pile of boxes out of the way, revealing a door.He jostled the handle, kicking it for extra measure.It swung open, a staircase on the other side."After you, your highness." He mocked.

"What is this?" He asked, dust covering the railing that winded up.Mason coughed, wheezing softly.Fitz figured it was the dust.

"Oh right, you don't...Okay, you ever wonder how Matt and I get around so quickly?There's passages everywhere.A lot have been closed off or hidden.They did a shit job though, so we use them all the time." Mason moved ahead of him, pushing a door open."Now, back to you." He looked inside of the room, jumping back.Mason rolled his eyes, relaxing his tense shoulders."I'm not sure if I expected anything different from you.Of course you'd be jacking it in the dark."

"Hey, I'm on break." Matt defended, zipping up his pants."And it's not like I haven't walked in on you."

"Okay!" Fitz drawled out, "Enough sharing for today.Otherwise I'm going to have to put you in the corner." They didn't answer."'Wow, you're so funny, Fitz!'" He slumped, "No one appreciates me." Mason whacked him on the back of the head.Fitz scowled but didn't hit him back.

"Okay, we'll leave you to..." Mason waved his hand around in Matt's direction, "that." He smiled, mocking thankfulness and watched the two leave.Fitz recognized the halls, now.His room was directly above it.He cringed at the thought of what the person below was doing.Fitz didn't want to think about it any longer.

Mason opened his door for him, keeping it open even as he entered."Hey, Fitz?" His voice was unusually quiet.He turned around to face him."You know you can trust me, right?About all of this, I mean."

"I know." He assured.

Mason shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens...I wrote this on a bumpy road trip with my best friend singing Jon Bellion. It was awesome.


	4. Shattered Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay my computer has been fucking with me and I accidentally deleted this chapter. Putting it up again because I'm stupid.

Toby glanced over at John, who's eyes were closed as he played his violin.His fingers slipped, hitting a sore note.John's eyes opened, checking if one of the strings broke on Toby's cello.It was rare that any of their instruments would break, but it wasn't impossible.He turned away, blushing.John smirked and continued to play. 

Toby looked over the crowd, memory working as his fingers shifted positioning.Swagger was at the edge of the room, swinging his gun around his finger and putting a few guests on edge.Jay was sitting down, hair slicked back and wearing a plain tux.He had taken off his jacket, making him look like a server.Toby knew the strategy.There was at least fifteen more guards hidden around.They were dressed so plain that no one besides each other would talk to them.

Mason was going in and out of the room, too rushed to stop and relax.Toby felt a little sympathy to him.He was lucky that they had arranged him to perform instead of serve, you never got a break with that job.He looked around for Fitz, but didn't get the chance.He was holding out a note too long.John set a hand over his, stoppin him.He winced, wondering who noticed. 

No one was particularly interested in the music, it was background noise at best.Yet there were always a few that had nothing better to do than judge.His eyes locked with an older man.If looks could kill...He turned away, watching the others get up."Five minutes," he overheard.Toby set down his cello and straightened out his jacket.

A hand landed on his shoulder, pulling him into the corner of the room.He turned around, relaxing as he met John's smiling face."Hey," he said, "How you enjoying the party?I think I like the music.The cello is amazing here." Toby scoffed dramatically, shaking his head.

"Wow, you have bad tastes.The violin's part was just beautiful." John's hand slipped into his, cold and worn.Toby sighed, wanting to kiss him.But not here.Not in the open where everyone could see.He put his hands behind his back, glancing around.John hid his hurt well, but not well enough."You know I really want to, John.But it's..." He trailed off."Give me time." John opened his mouth to speak but held his tongue.He wanted to yell at Toby and everyone else in the room.Instead, he shook out his anger and smiled.

"All the time you need." He pinned back his hair and turned around, leaving Toby in the corner.It ached more than it should have.Toby could still feel him but felt so, so lost.  

"Save me." Fitz mouthed, striding over.Toby wiped his worry away, ready to listen to whatever story he had now.He picked up two drinks from a passing server, downing it immediately and giving the other to him."Oh my god." Fitz stared at the wall for a second, groaning."What do I do?" 

"Wait, what's going on?" Toby knew these events weren't Fitz's favorite things, but he never got stressed about them.He shook his arms, trying to keep his eyes focused on him."Fitz!Look at me." 

"Dad, uh, king, whoever...It's-it's—" Fitz ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head."I'm only twenty-two.I mean, I guess it's not bad.But—" Toby grabbed Fitz by the arm, seeing a guard's hand curl around his gun.He set aside his fear and pulled him out of the ballroom.The hallways were always quiet, always better. 

"Okay, I'm going to go get Jay.I'll get him to take you to your room, alright?" He walked back to the door.Fitz gripped his arm, panic clear on his face.

"Please don't leave." His voice cracked, making Toby feel guilt.He pried his fingers away,

"I need to get back.It'll only take a second." He promised and left.Fitz stumbled back, back hitting the wall. _He's not coming back, he's not coming back, he's not coming back, he's not coming back._ Fitz's head hurt.He walked down the hall, vision blurring.Where was he going?Did he forget?Fitz didn't want to be alone right now.Yet he was and no one was going to help.

"Hey, I'm right here." Fitz rubbed his eyes, looking around."Can I touch you?" Jay asked.Fitz nodded, unsure if he could stand on his own at this point.He put a hand on his shoulder, balancing him and walking him up the stairs."Okay, breathe.Inhale," Fitz did so, "And exhale.Good, good." Jay patted his arm, voice quieting."Do you know what caused this?" He stopped in his tracks."Fitz?Fitz!" He couldn't hear.

" _Fitz, there's something I want to talk to you about." His dad said.Fitz looked over to him, shifting his grip on his glass in hand.He licked his lips, switching back to watching the ground._

_"Uh-huh." He said absently.Fitz couldn't stand this, in fact he hated having to stand around for hours at a time.He wanted to at least be outside.Fireworks had just ended, but it was always more...alive, out there.His dad scowled._

_"Fitz." He repeated.Fitz tightened his jaw, fighting back a sigh.He straightened his back, unsure of when he had started to slouch."You're going to be twenty-three, soon," he started.Fitz frowned for a split second before going neutral.He found it best not to show emotion when his dad would begin speaking."Don't you think it's time you began to consider...marriage?" Fitz went cold, horror slipping into his face._

_"Dad, I—"_

_"No, I know.I'm not saying that it should be soon, I'm just saying that there's a lot of young women here tonight.Women with a lot of power in their families.I'm asking you to," he paused, "To think about your future.And the kingdom's future.I'm not getting any younger, you know." Fitz looked around, locking eyes with an assortment of people.He didn't want this.To have this conversation.To even think about marriage._

_"Um, I..." Fitz swallowed his words, his panic, his opinion."Yeah, I'll think about it." His dad smiled, patting him on the back.Fitz slipped away, heart pounding.Everything tilted, people's faces going blurry._

_He walked over to Toby, mouthing a "Save me."Fitz didn't want to be anywhere near one of these events ever again._

"I-I-I..." Fitz shook his head, staring at Jay.He looked down.When had he gotten on the bed?"I don't-I can't—"

"Okay, that's fine.That's fine.Just try to get some rest.I'll be right here." He laid Fitz back, flicking off the light and sitting down.Fitz didn't have any option but to curl up and hope he calmed down.

 

***

 

John packed up his stuff, watching the guests clear out.His fingers hurt more than he'd admit, but he carried his case with his left anyways.Toby shot him a grimace, probably as worn out as he was."Hey, I'll take the plates back to the kitchen." He offered a passing server.They nodded and turned to do something else."Yes, fuck yes." He set down his case, making Toby do the same.

"Why are you so excited?This is just extra work." He whined, leaning against him.John rolled his eyes, picking up his legs and carrying him.

"Because," He motioned to the table of food, no where near finished, "Life is short and the way to go is through calories." Toby flicked his head, laughing.

"Okay, fine.Put me down, I want cake." John shook his head.

"It's mine, I’ve claimed it.At the beginning of the night I wrote my name in frosting on the side of the first tier, marking it as mine.Now, I also decided to put a container of laxatives into the cake, specifically altered by Bordie so that they affect everyone but me.Now, I also have the adoption papers for this cake in my room, I’ve decided to take on full responsibility and not include you.” John rolled his eyes dramatically, looking completely serious about his whole spiel.“We both know you can’t be trusted with children and I think it’s just too big of a burden to put on your shoulders.Remember Sarah the Starfruit?Remember Sarah?”

“Oh my god.This is worse than the time you explained the difference between a trebuchet and a catapult to the person building a catapult!” He hopped out of his arms, unable to comprehend how he was being so stonefaced about this.“And we do not talk about Sarah in this household!Plus your story is bullshit.Everyone knows that you can’t adopt a cake unless you’ve talked to the whisk first.” He played along, edging closer to the cake.

“Ah man!The whisk wasn’t there!But,” he pushed Toby against the table, reaching behind him and turning the platter the cake was on.“My name is.Called it.” Toby looked behind him, trying not to focus on how closed John was to him.Sure enough, written with a toothpick was John’s name.“Though if you can speak to the whisk, then maybe I’ll share custody.” He swiped a layer of icing, sticking it in his mouth.

“Will do.” Toby kissed him, enjoying how much he tasted like sugar.“Oh my god, they really went sweet this time, didn’t they?” He said, scrunching his nose.John hummed, smearing some on Toby’s cheek.“Oh really?” He glared.John held his chin, licking it off.

“Really.” He challenged.Toby grabbed a piece of cake behind him, putting it on John's nose.He laughed, reaching to get another piece.John was quicker, pushing some onto his mouth.Toby sputtered, wiping it off.

"So much sugar." He coughed.“Almost as sweet as you.” He winked.John buried his face in his neck, hiding his smile.

“That was so stupid.” Toby patted his hair, wiping the cake on his shirt.

“Yeah, I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the confusion. 5th part will be out soon.


	5. Another Staircase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey I'm back! I was stuck at my mom's place for the past week, where there was no WiFi to upload this. I've been fending off writers block, depression, and trying to finish school work while writing this. Hope you enjoy! I'm exhausted.

Fitz opened up the window, slipping out and putting one foot on the wall.He looked down, spotting the make-shift footholds that we're made from missing bricks.He put his other leg off the edge, beginning to climb down.

The sound of rhythmic marching and hushed voices told him that the guards were doing their rounds early.He raced across the open field, scaling the wall in record time.It went quiet.

The woods were so much more quiet, even if he was still only feet away from the kingdom.In the span of less than two months, he has learned to get used to the silence.Fitz began walking, pulling out the map Smitty had given him the first time they met.

His hands shook as he walked, a reminance of what had happened a mere three hours earlier.Fitz was having second thoughts.Did he have the energy to do this?Would Smitty notice something was wrong?Would Smitty want to deal with him?It wasn't too late to turn back, sleep it off, and talk to Notorious and Toby about it in the morning.

 Fitz sighed.He set down the map, sitting against a tree.There were too many things running through his head.He wasn't sure if he could even try to get through a few hours of talking.He wanted to be alone, but his mind was telling him that it was the worst idea.He pulled his legs to his chest, resting his head against his knees."Dammit." He shut his eyes, trying not to cry.

The thought of marriage terrified him.There was so much commitment involved and being that close, that vulnerable, sent chills down his back.He wished he had someone to talk to about it.Fitz knew his dad would never push him into doing something, but that didn't mean he didn't have expectations.His dad wanted what was best for him and the kingdom.If marriage was what was best for the kingdom, then his dad would do everything to convince him of that.But it didn't make any sense.They had no enemies, no allegiances to be reinforced.It would be pointless."I'm sorry, Smit." He told the ground.

Fitz stood up, rubbing the tears out of his eyes and beginning to walk again.As he looked around he wondered why he hadn't marked his path yet.Sure, he had the map, but it could only be so clear.He would need to bring a can of spray paint or a knive to keep track of where he treaded.Fitz cursed himself for not thinking of it the first time. 

As he reached the clearing, the sound of hooves came into hearing.A horse raced past him, mere yards away.Its rider was unidentifyable.Fitz's heart raced, terrified of someone finding him here.Sneaking around in the dead of night was not a good situation for a prince to be in.Fitz swallowed his anxiety and continued on."Smitty!" He called, waiting for his head to pop out of the window.

Smitty was wearing his hood again, identical to the first time they met."This is your third time back, I'm beginning to get suspicious.Don't princes have better things to do than talk to people in towers?"

 "Not at four in the morning, no." He smiled, beginning to climb up the stairs.All his worry faded with each step, reminding him that he was going to be okay.Smitty was more than fine with Fitz's company, he liked hanging with him.He was about to pull the key off the hook when he noticed a smear of red on the small loop.He smelled it, the metal a stronger scent of iron than normal.Carefully, he opened the door.

 Smitty still hadn't taken off his hood, sitting on his bed with tense shoulders.There was blood splattered on the wall, scaring him."Smit, is everything okay?" He asked, being slow in approaching him. 

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" He tilted his head up, showing another streak on his face. 

"Oh god are you bleeding?" He rushed forwards, pulling off the hood and examining his face.Smitty groaned but didn't complain.The base of his left horn was cut, almost circling the bone before stopping short of his hair."What happened?" It looked too precise to be an accident, "Did someone get in?" Smitty pulled away, shaking his head.

"It's nothing, I promise." Fitz looked down, wanting to press more.Smitty waited for his answer, oblivious to how concerned he was.Fitz dropped his hands and sat next to him.Smitty edged away, wiping the drying blood off his face."Anyways, what are you doing here?It's kind of late.Or early." His heart sped up immediately, everything that had happened hours earlier coming back.

 "I..." _Smitty's not going to be bothered by it, just tell him_ , a voice coaxed."Some stuff happened and I need someone to talk to about it." There, he'd done it.Went out and said it.

"Okay..." Smitty's voice held nothing but the offer of comfort."Do you want to talk about what happened?" Fitz stared at his eyes, trying to build up his courage.  

"Yeah," he pushed down his growing anxiety, "my dad told me that he was thinking of me getting married and...I don't know what to do." Fitz was going to throw up, he knew it.Smitty put a hand on his arm, running his thumb over a small scar. 

"Do you think you could tell him that you don't want to?" He offered.Fitz definitely couldn't.He was an only child and one of the only political virtues the kingdom had left.He looked down at Smitty's hand, scars and burns running from his fingers up his arm.There were bruises on his wrist, recent.Fitz's anxiousness fell.Smitty had gone through a lot more than he had and here he was, the one comforting _him_. 

"I can try." He hadn't defied his dad since he was fourteen.Smitty's face lit up, his smile something Fitz wished was always there."There's something else I want to talk about." Fitz's mind flicked back to the horse that had raced by on his way to him.He let go of his hand, reaching for the circle of blood around his horn.Smitty snatched his wrist before he could touch it, his hands shaking. 

"Don't." He ordered.Fitz pried his fingers away, keeping his hand at his side. 

"Sorry." He apologized.They both went silent, the ease leaving as quick as it had come.Smitty folded his arms, standing up.

"I think you sh—" 

"Wait!I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, to make you mad.Just, I need to ask you something." He blurted, hoping he would listen.Smitty curled and uncurled his hands, fidgeting.Fitz took this as a sign to continue.He sucked in his breath, pushing himself to continue."Is someone hurting you?"

 

***

 

John's least favorite thing was alarm clocks.He was pretty fucking sure they hated him back.Every morning, at the crack of dawn, the awful screeching began.The noise nearly made him have a heart attack each day, but he suffered through it.

This morning, he was not in the mood to even try and argue with the device.He hit the snooze after the first blare, swinging his feet over the side of the bed.He got up, pulling a shirt off the ground and smelling it.Clean enough.He tugged it over his head, pulling on the pair of jeans right next to it. 

He unplugged his phone, catching sight of his chipped nail polish."That's great," he sighed.He put on a series of ruby and silver rings before leaving his room.John walked into the bathroom, cringing when he saw himself in the mirror."Thanks, hair." He threaded his fingers through the knots, hissing when they got stuck.He picked up his hairbrush, putting his hair up in a ponytail.John tucked a strand behind his ear, flinching when he saw what it was hiding.He leaned closer to the mirror, inspecting the spot."What the hell?Right now?"

John scratched at the blue spot, but it didn't fade.He looked down at the bottle of pills on the floor, empty.He really hadn't visited Bordie in awhile, he should have expected it.He needed to take care of that, like, right now.John examined his eyes, nothing but black staring back."Fuck me." He rubbed them, as if it would banish the image.He grabbed a pair of sunglasses and put them on.He pulled out his ponytail, trying to get his hair to hide the spreading blue patch.

He left his home, trying to remember where Bordie's house was.She was the only one who knew how to fix...whatever his problem was.He navigated the empty streets, thankful that rush hour hadn't kicked in yet.Finally, he saw the familiar spray painted door at the edge of the road.

"Birdie?" He knocked, listening for her response.There was the sound of a crash before she opened the door.

"What did I say about you calling me that?" She leaned against the doorway, "anyways, it's super early."

"Yeah, I know.It's," he lifted up his sunglasses, exposing his pitch eyes.Bordie raised her eyebrows, unamused.  

"Well I'd like to say that I didn't expect you to forget to refill your medicine, but that is not the case." She shut the door, leaving John to stare at the new coat of paint she had added to the door.Bordie reopened the door and handed him a capsule of pills."You're a mess, Kryoz." 

"Yeah I know.You're a damn saint, though." John popped a pill, hugged her, and headed back.He removed his sunglasses, his eyes adjusting to the light.He made it back to his house, hiding the pills in his bathroom and grabbing a guitar off the floor.As he reached for the door handle, his phone rang."John Kryoz, state your business."

"Haha, funny.Hurry up, we've got shit to do." Toby said from the other end.John strummed his guitar, testing how it sounded.He winced at the response, sitting down to fix it."I'm on the second floor with Mason by the barracks."

"Oh wow, no Swagger?" He strummed again, more satisfied with the sound.

"Yeah," The sound of metal crashing came from Toby's end, "He's passed out cold.Near a food coma from yesterday." He paused, clearing his throat."Have you seen Fitz?I haven't seen him since last night."

"Oh come on, he's probably just—" John stopped.Fitz had been acting strange lately.Plus if he had snuck out, then something was definitely wrong.Fitz always told someone where he was going to be."Okay, I can see why you're worried.Don't panic, babe.We'll find him." He smiled.

"Did you just call me 'babe'?I swear to god, John.You're the worst." He laughed, "Bye.See you in a few minutes." He hung up.John walked outside, the streets beginning to become busy.He distracted himself by playing but Toby was right.Fitz was acting weird, it could land them all in trouble if they weren't careful.

"Where are you, dude?" John asked.

There was no reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on it. S'all going to be a-okay I promise. Haha, kill me.


	6. Renovations

"I have no idea what you're talking about.Hey, did you tell anyone where you were?You should probably go back n—"

 "Smitty!" Fitz interrupted, grabbing his arms."Just, please, answer me." Smitty wanted to scream.For once, he was glad he couldn't see what Fitz looked like.If he witnessed how much concern he held in his eyes, Smitty would have considered just running away.But there was no running away now.

"Uh, I don't-I guess?I don't understand." It was grasping at nothing, they both knew.Smitty pushed Fitz away, desperately needing space.He heard him sigh, making it feel like he had just taken an arrow to the heart."I think you should leave, though.Really." The room was still, not even the outside world making a noise.

"Okay...If that's what you want." Fitz turned and left.Smitty collapsed to the floor, finger tugging nervously at his hair.Fitz wasn't coming back.Smitty fucked it up, it was his fault.

"Can't do anything right," he glared at the empty room, frustrated with himself.Why had he ever thought that someone would like him?Everyone he met hated him, it was all he ever knew.So maybe the fucking universe decided he couldn't have nice things.Fine, he lived on before he met Fitz and he could do it again.

It was only moments before he had dug out his old drawings of Fitz and began crying.

 

***

 

The journey back was the worst thing he had ever had to do.Fitz took his time going back, making sure his eyes weren't red and his hands weren't shaking.He wanted to turn back, go back up those stairs, and promise never to leave again.Well, that'd be the biggest lie he'd ever told, now wouldn't it?Fitz could never just stay.He had a kingdom to inherit and other friends to be around.He didn't need to think about Smitty so often.

Fitz stopped in front of the kingdom's walls, facing the stone and moss.He was exhausted and it was too early.He sat down and shut his eyes, needing sleep desperately.

He was shaken awake hours later, sore from his uncomfortable position."Hey dude," Swagger was standing above him, head blocking out the sun."Where the hell have you been?"

"Ugh," Fitz rubbed his eyes, latching onto his arm and standing up."Nowhere, don't worry about it," he brushed off the question, hoping to forget it himself.Swagger stared at him, managing to look skeptical without taking off his helmet."I'm serious, don't worry." He smiled for emphasis, "I promise I won't run off again."

"Alright, sure.Mason and Jay are looking for you, too.Your parents are flipping their shit over you," he said.Fitz sighed, too exhausted to deal with it all.He ran a hand through his hair, his smile turning into a grimace."...But that can wait, I guess.You look like fucking crap, man."

"Thanks, Swagger."

When the two got to the castle, Fitz went up to his room immediately.Despite having a nap that was hours long, he was still worn out.Having Smitty act so str—no, he wasn't going to think about him.Fitz needed sleep.Swagger opened his door, gave him a look of sympathy, and left him.He flicked on the light switch, unsure if he was seeing correctly.

Toby was hanging off his windowsill, glasses on the floor beside him.He was holding the neck of a ukulele with Notorious latched onto the other end.Both were out cold.With no energy left to deal with the invaders, Fitz climbed into bed and drifted off.

 

***

 

Smitty flinched awake, his heart racing along with his mind."Damn it," he breathed, standing up."Damn it all," he wiped his tears away and hid the drawings.He messed up again and that was that.Fitz didn't like him anymore and...And Smitty couldn't find himself caring.All of his anger and sadness had faded away, leaving him numb and blank."Okay, okay." He steadied his breathing."This is fine," he convinced himself.It wouldn't be the first time someone had left him.He had gotten through it once and he could go through it again.He was much closer to Craig than he was to Fitz, so it should be easier.

 Should be.

"This is completely fine." He walked over to the door, finding no barrier.Fitz has left it open, giving him opportunity again.Did he mean to?Was this some sort of hint?Smitty had no place to go if he did leave.This had been his home since he was a kid.No family, no one besides the people he had met while here.Except...

No, it would be impossible to find him.It had been years.It was his only chance though, and who knows how long it was before the guard got back.Based on the blood still around his horn, it was only going to get worse.Fitz wasn't coming back so there was no purpose in staying anymore.It was now or never."Kryoz..." Smitty hadn't said his name in years.Hadn't seen him for years.But he was his only chance right now.Smitty flipped up his hood, hoping his cloak was on well enough to hide his face.

Getting onto the first cold step, Smitty's heart jolted.He took another step, holding onto the railing with a vice grip.He was _really doing this_.Smitty continued to travel down the stairs, finally reaching the bottom.He pushed open the door, stepping into the sun.The grass felt unfamiliar, harsh against his bare feet.He would have just laid there, but he was on a clock.Smitty had no idea what time it was and his disappearance would be known soon.He continued forwards, listening for the sounds of the city in hopes of finding his old friend.

 

***

 

John opened the hatch, climbing onto the castle roof.He crawled onto a small patio, pulling out his guitar."She's a stone cold," he checked the door for any sign of someone, "straight-faced killer and a lover." John cleared his throat, pausing.

"And she won't put up with another brood who only wants to bruise her.

Take her love and then abuse her," the door slid open, much to his relief.John smiled, Toby still tired and not wearing his glasses."She won't take no more, won't take no more.Won't take no more, won't take no more." He continued.Toby sat on the ledge with him, rubbing his eyes.

"Oh no ain't it a drag," he returned softly, "If you take a swing, she swing back."

"She say I'm not your punchin' bag." The two chorused.Toby leaned into him, stopping him from playing. 

"You know I'm weak for that song, dude." Toby mumbled, hugging him."I'm too tired to sing though."

"I was just doing that to get your attention, babe." He fixed Toby's hair, in awe of how affectionate he got when sleepy."So I heard Fitz came back."

 "No talking about him.He third wheels enough when he's around." Toby tugged him into his room, a small part of the castle that was rarely visited by anyone other than staff.John set down his guitar, laying on his bed in an instant.Toby laid next to him, burying his face in his chest.John could have stayed right here for the rest of the night.If he wasn't on a timer, that is."So why'd you chose tonight?" He asked, voice muffled by the fabric of John's shirt.

"Cause this last week has been hell." He answered truthfully."Fitz has gone off on his own three times and it's taking a toll on all of us.Jay and Swagger are always looking for him.Mason and Notorious have a ton of shit to do, and..." John hugged Toby closer, "I haven't gotten to actually talk to you in three days."

"John," Toby looked up at him, frowning."You know I'm available anytime," he reminded."All your shit is my shit, too." Toby laced their fingers together, his thumb tracing over the design on his rings.John nodded. 

"Yeah, I know," he kissed the top of his head, "I love you, dude."

"Mhm, I bet you do." He hummed.John laughed, nudging him.

"Hey, this is the part where you're supposed to say 'I love you too', dumbass." Toby crawled on top of him, holding his face.

"I love you and your stupid little worries.Is that good?" He asked.John smiled, pulling him to his chest.

"That's perfect." John sighed.He could hear Toby's breathing become slow, falling back asleep.He looked down at his hand, his fingertips beginning to fade into blue.No, he had another two hours.Didn't he?Of course it would start to fade right now, of all times. 

 John closed his eyes, focusing.His weight changed, slowly lowering Toby onto his bed.John looked down, scales covering what used to be his skin.Okay, not the initial things he wanted...But it worked.John changed back, getting to his feet.He grabbed his guitar and climbed out the window, hoping to get home before he was completely changed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah now! What could John possibly be?!?! Also, did you really think I wouldn't incorporate some of my BrOTP, Krii7y?
> 
> Fitz doesn't know how to emotion yet, but he will. It is going to get better. I promise.


	7. Construction

 “No, it’s a made up question,” Mason clarified, “I’m not asking if you would actually frame someone.”

“Yeah, you’re just giving me the situation where I fucking killed someone and if I had the opportunity to blame someone, if I would take it.” Matt rolled his eyes, speeding up.

“Exactly!” Mason kept up, unfortunately.

“No, because I wouldn’t be that much of a dumbass to murder someone,” he snarked, “though if I was as stupid as you...I’d frame you, definitely.” Mason whacked his head, scowling.“You’re gonna fucking get it.” Matt hit him back, kicking his shin.

“Ah shit!” Mason grabbed his leg, sitting down.  Matt sat beside him, waiting for him to stop whining. 

“Hey, hey, dude.Is something moving..?” Matt nudged his arm, pointing at the forest.

“Ha, ha, I’m not falling for that again.” Mason countered, “stop trying to make me sc—What the fuck is that?” He scrambled to his feet, “It’s moving!”

“I told you!” Matt grabbed Mason, placing him in front.“Eat him first!” 

“Wh–Hey!” Mason pushed him, both trying to get the other to be eaten first.

“Wait!” Matt stopped, edging closer.“Hello?Are you a person?” 

“You can’t just ask it that.It’s not like it’ll respond if it isn’t.” Mason folded his arms, taking a step back from the forest.It got closer and closer, a hand reaching out.It stumbled, grabbing onto a tree for support.  

“I’m looking for someone by the name Kryoz.” It spoke. 

“This is too fucking creepy, I’m gone.” Mason turned around, ready to run.  Matt grabbed him by his hood, keeping him still.

“What’s your name?” He tilted his head, trying to peek under his hood.“And why are you looking for Kryoz?”

“You know him.” He continued forwards, getting closer.  Matt felt Mason’s nails dig into his arms.“I-I’m looking because he’s the only one that can help me.My name’s Smitty.”

“Well, Smitty,” Matt swallowed, still feeling off about him.“We can take you to him.” 

“On one condition!” Mason added.  Matt glared but didn’t argue.“Show us your face, we want to make sure you’re not going to...to eat us or something.” Smitty went still.Cautiously, he held the edges of his hood and pulled it back.  

“Oh my god,” Matt didn’t know where to focus.His unnaturally white hair, the scars and bruises, his eyes, or the horns that were growing out of his head.“Oh my fucking god.” Smitty stepped back, trying to sink back into the woods.“We said we would take you to Kryoz, I wasn’t lying.” He held out a hand, hoping he would take it.

“He’s blind, you idiot,” Mason whispered.  Matt sighed and stepped closer, reaching for Smitty’s wrist. 

“Don’t touch me!” He flinched back, breathing erratic.

“Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Just...Start walking, I’ll follow.” Smitty pulled his hood back over his head, waiting for him.  Matt nodded and began walking, Mason still keeping his distance.Smitty followed the sound of their footsteps, trying to calm himself. _Kryoz_ , he thought, _please remember me._

 

***

 

“John!Wake up!” Mason banged on the door, looking in the window.“I know you’re awake!”

“So, how do you know Kryoz?” Matt asked, waiting for the door to open. 

“We knew each other when we were kids, how’s you meet him?” Smitty felt drained, he didn’t want to talk.The trek out of the forest had been hard and listening to Matt and Mason talk while they walked had been difficult.He hadn’t been around so many people in such a long time.

“Oh, through our friend Toby.If it’s not too weird, can I ask what you were doing in the woods?”

“I’m from the town over and I got...lost.” The door swung open.

“Why the fuck are you here, Mason?” John rubbed his eyes, ruffling his hair.Mason stepped out of the way, nodding towards the other two.John’s eyes drifted past Matt and landed on Smitty.He removed his hood, biting his lip.“Smitty!” He screamed, racing over and picking him up off his feet.“I thought you were dead, you dick!” John set him down, shaking his shoulders.“Where have you been?”

“I, um,” Smitty knew Mason and Matt were still around, “I’ve been traveling.Can I come in?” John looked past him at his other friends.

“Oh!Yeah, we’re leaving, we’re leaving.” Matt grabbed Mason by the arm and pulled him away.John let Smitty inside and sat down on the couch next to him.

“Where have you _been_?” He pulled Smitty into a hug, putting his chin on his head.“It’s been years, Smitty.”

“I know, John.” He sighed, smiling.“Ever get that girlfriend?” He joked.

“Nah, I’m more into guys these days.But girls are still on the list.” John sniffed, trying not to cry.“You didn’t even say _goodbye_ , fucking douchebag.”

 “I’m sorry, I didn’t have a choice.” John stopped, pulling away with a puzzled look.

“What?”

“I didn’t want to leave, John,” he explained.“I got arrested.” Smitty heard nothing but silence.He couldn’t hear John’s breathing or his own, he couldn’t hear anything outside, there was nothing. 

“...Arrested?Did you fucking escape prison?!” He snapped.Smitty winced, knowing he should have expected this.

“Sort of?I just need a place to stay, I couldn’t...I couldn’t stand being there any longer.” Smitty felt his hands, burns and scars still there.It felt as if he’d gotten them yesterday.“Please, John.” He heard him sigh, a hand touching his face.

“Man, someone really fucked you up, huh?” His hand was cold, his rings causing a light shiver to rack through him.It was kind of refreshing, familiar even though he could barely even remember what John was like.“Alright, but you’re going to be here alone most of the time.I got a job, dude.”

“I’m fine with that, been alone for awhile.” That was _not_ the right thing to say.Smitty wanted to be buried right now, embarrassed and scared.

“Jesus, your humor is dark as ever.” John was trying his best to keep the conversation light.Smitty appreciated it.“And I, um, might have a friend over once in awhile.” John focused on him, trying to read him as best as he could.“But I’ll tell you first, promise.” He dropped his hand, getting up.“I’m fucking hungry, when’s the last time you had a goddamn Pop Tart?”

“I don’t know, last time I saw you..?”

“This is your diet from now on.Pop Tarts.” He dropped a package in his lap, sitting back down.“If you don’t mind, can I ask why you got arrested?” Smitty hadn’t told anyone.Not Craig, not Fitz, no one he had ever spoken to.But this was John and if he hadn’t kicked him out at this point, then he was okay.

“Well, you know my background already.So, just...be ready.” He warned and began to tell a story he thought he would have never had to face again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Next chapter will focus more on Fitz and Toby, since they need some time too. Sorry I haven’t updated in a long time, I fell in love with Boku no Hero Academia and OH MY GOD. On an unrelated but related note, I love the Misfits podcast??? So much??? It’s beautiful and what the fuck, Poland.
> 
> Apparently the group is called the Gay Baby Gang, and if that isn’t the best name ever then get out. I will try to get the next chapter up faster but my brain will only take me so far.


	8. Demolition

 Sunlight was the enemy.It was too much and it felt like it was melting his skin.Fitz had never been sensitive to light or heat, but it felt like fucking hell itself was making its way into the halls.

 He wanted to say in bed, really.Coop up in his room and never come out.But distractions were good, they made things easier to get over.Fitz needed to find Toby.

 He was on one of the top floors, talking to one of the guards with a pair of broken glasses in his hand.  Well then.  Fitz approached them, the guard immediately stiffening and fixing her posture.  Toby waved.  “Hey, you’re sort of blurry.”  

“I feel blurry,” if that made any sense.Fitz pointed to the glasses, “what happened?”

“Tripped and hit the door,” he pulled back his hair to show a bandaid.“I was asking if she knew a place to get them fixed or something.” 

“Oh, I know a place.” Fitz was desperate to get out of the palace, even if the heat outside would surely kill him.“It’s sort of far away though,” all the way across town, to be exact.Toby examined the lenses, tapping it to check the fracture.A piece of glass popped out, falling onto the floor.

“Yeah, okay.” He waved goodbye to the guard and followed Fitz down the hall.“I’m guessing you wanted to talk about something?” Toby could see through him so easily, it was kind of frustrating.

“I guess.I need a distraction, if that makes sense.”

 “A distraction from what?” Fitz opened his mouth to answer but froze.

“Wow, you must think you’re so fucking sly,” Toby was grinning.“Thanks, dude.”

“No problem, gives me an excuse to talk about bullshit now.There’s no escape!” Toby said triumphantly.“Okay, I have this theory that Cookie, the cat that hangs around the kitchen, is fucking possessed.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” Fitz scoffed. 

“I know I’m sound like Mason, but just hear me out.”

“That’s never a good way to start a story.” Fitz chided.Toby shoved him, laughing softly. 

“Yeah, yeah.But there’s this thing that she does.Any time you bring out cookies, she completely loses her balance.Fucking walks all over the place, pretends to bark like a dog, and her claws turn deadly.” 

“So, you think Cookie’s possessed by...a _dog_.” 

“No–yes–well, I mean—“ John stopped, shaking his head.“It’s a possibility.” 

“Alright, continue,” he encouraged, feeling the weight on his shoulders lighten. 

“And she’s immortal.Alice once dropped a whole batch of cookies, with chocolate in them, and Cookie ate five.We watched her for hours, no throwing up, nothing. 

“Okay, I think you’re just going insane, now.” Fitz said, patting his back sympathetically.“Hey, have you seen Swagger lately?”

“Um...no.  Don’t think so.”

 

***

 

The last thing Swagger Souls, second in command of the castle guard, wanted to deal with was monsters.

He was wandering through the forest that surrounded the kingdom, talking to himself as he walked.Jay had voted to split up so they wouldn’t spend five hours filtering through the woods.Swagger agreed and was now alone, chattering off to his Remington shotgun.

Then he’d reached the river that separated them from the rest of the world and he stopped.He pulled out his phone, checking for a signal.Was Jay done yet?As expected, there was nothing.“Ah, well, East or West?” He asked the gun.

It didn’t respond.

“East it is.” He turned and began walking, occasionally kicking the loose sand that dusted the bank of the river.He hated doing this alone, it was boring and he was getting tired.The kingdom was five miles away and he was bound to pass out if he didn’t rest somewhere.

So Swagger continued walking until he found himself facing the dipping sun, settling under a tree and putting his gun down.He was closer, now, only two miles away.He latched onto one of the tree’s branches, hoisting himself up and climbing to the top.“C’mon...gimme bars you piece of shit.” He pleaded.His phone waveredbetween none and two, frustrating him.He climbed up higher until the only thing keeping him up were his legs.His phone pinged, a message from Jay.

_“where r u??im already at the castle, anything happen?”_

How was he back already?Swagger wasn’t that slow!He grumbled and replied. 

 _“whatever dude come get me if youre so smart”_  

He could only guess if it went through or not.Swagger pocketed his phone and froze.A creaking noise came from under him, the tree lurching to the left.“What the hell?” He choked, heart pounding.Orange eyes stared back up at him, the shadow shaking the tree again.Swagger’s gun was on the ground, he couldn’t get it without jumping.“This better be a fucked up dream,” he hoped and pushed off the trunk.

“Wait!” He braced his body for the ground, expecting some part of his body to snap.Instead, he hit something a few seconds too soon and barely ached.Swagger got to his feet, dusting off his shirt and snatching his gun.“Shit, that hurt...” Was that thing talking?

“Don’t you fucking move!” He threatened.It moved anyways.It didn’t look like it had a physical form, more like it was made out of shadows.It hurt to look at, his eyes stinging as it got up.It had orange eyes, a pair of glasses glaringly bright against what he assumed to be its face.

“Hey, calm down.” It raised its hands in peace, sharp claws prominent.“My name’s _Craig_.C-R-A-I-G.I’m a Shade, which I guess you can find out what I’m made of pretty clearly.”

“Don’t care, a monster’s a monster.” He should shoot it.Should have already shot it.It’d be easy. 

“Right,” it muttered, putting a hand on his chin.“Alright this is gonna look weird but please don’t shoot me.” It disappeared into a puddle, looking like a hole in the ground that went on forever.Swagger felt dizzy looking at it.

Suddenly a series of bones built upon each other, locking into place and helping guide the skull as the final piece.Swagger _seriously_ wanted to shoot it.A pair of eyes rolled out of the puddle, jamming themselves into the skull.“That’s fucking gross!” He yelled.

Muscle followed, tugging themselves into place and crawling up its torso like slugs.Swagger felt his skin raise and almost feared it was going to just get up and leave his body. 

Guts slipped into its torso, squirming in its ribcage and around his stomach.Swagger was going to throw up.Skin closed over it like it was zipped up, binding until it looked like it had been there all along.Then it moved.

“See?Is this better?”

“No it’s fucking not!That’s disgusting!” He raised his gun again, pressing it against its forehead.

 “Hey!I’m friendly!I’ve got a girlfriend, too, she thinks I’m decent!” What was it trying to do?“I’m here on behalf of my kingdom, I’m looking for my friend.”

“Shut up!” Swagger demanded, getting more confused with every word.“Whatever you’re doing, take it up with someone who isn’t holding a gun.” 

“...Are you saying I can go find him?”

“Hell no,” it was dumb, too.“Go back, I’ll kill you if you take another step.”

“Fine, that’s fine,” it shrugged.It looked so human-like, Swagger didn’t like it.It lunged, tackling him and trying to take the gun from his hands.

“Let go!” Swagger turned the gun and jammed the stock onto its jaw.It reeled back, spitting out black blood.“You fucker!” He switched their positions, pinning it to the ground with his foot and balancing his finger over the trigger.“I warned you!”

It glared and its arm reached out, extending farther than it should have been able to and wrapping a hand around his neck.“I can snap your neck in an instant.”

“I can shoot you too, idiot.” The two were still, the only noise was their panting from the quick fight.It was clear to both of them.If one attacked, the other could too.Both of them would die. 

They were at a stalemate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of writing this had me stumped for, like, a month. I sort of fell out of writing it in favor of doing some drabbles for other stuff. But I’m back and trying to improve what I consider to be the plot. Plus school has been kicking my ass and I’m too embarrassed to write around any of my friends.


	9. Broken Walls

John woke up strangely warm.He sighed, looking around his room before sitting up.He flinched at the sensation of an arm at his side, wondering if he’d managed to grow another one in his sleep.

“Dude you’re gonna crush me,” John jumped.Another head?That never happened...He glanced over, noticing a pair of legs and arms.Oh, it was another person.John cussed and rubbed his eyes, feeling dumb.

Then he freaked out again.John looked at his skin, blue staring back.Oh god, they knew.John wasn’t up to killing a man, but he couldn’t let him find out.John put his hands over his eyes, heart beating fast.“John?What are you doing?”

“This is gonna be easy if you just keep your eyes shut,” he whispered, swallowing his fear.“Okay?” 

“John...You’re being weird.” Hands touched his wrists and tried to pull them away.He kept them firm and looked around for his pills.“John, you’re scaring me.” Their hands left, instead gripping the bedsheets and beginning to panic. 

“Keep your eyes shut.” He ordered.John hated being like this, but he wasn’t awake and had no idea who this was. 

“A-alright, I will.” At least they weren’t giving him trouble.John slowly let go and climbed out of the bed.He grabbed the bottle of pills on the bedside and unscrewed the cap.He popped one in his mouth and swallowed, watching the blue fade from his skin.Now he only had to deal with whoever was in his bed.

John looked back and it felt like a kick in the head.God, it was Smitty!He had come back yesterday, how could he forget?Now he’d gone and scared him. _Great work, idiot,_ he told himself.He walked back over and hugged him, Smitty tensing in his arms.“I didn’t know it was you, sorry.”

 “It’s okay, that’s probably the least scary thing that’s happened in the past week.” He hugged back, shaking slightly.“Hey, um, I know it’s been seven years, give or take.But you can talk to me, if you need to.”

“Dude, you’re one of the sappiest people I know.” John ruffled his hair, narrowly missing his horns.“And that’s fucking _epic_.” Smitty whacked his hand away and leaned against him.

“D’you have a job yet?” Smitty’s stomach turned at the thought of being alone again.What if someone found him?Would he go back or just be killed right then and there?Smitty sighed and choked back his fear.

“Yeah, I work at the castle.” He froze.Fitz had to be in the castle.John probably knew Fitz and was going to out Smitty to him.John had no reason to keep Smitty around, they hadn’t been friends since they were kids.John was planning to get revenge for leaving him alone all those years.Smitty feels a lot more closed in, now.The room is too small and it’s making it hard to breathe.“Hey!” 

John shook his shoulders.“Hey, focus on me.Pay attention to my voice.Breathe in,” Smitty did so, “now count to seven...Good, breathe out for five.” Smitty slowly calmed down, repeating the phrase over and over in his mind.“D’you not want me to go?” Smitty can’t tell him that, he can’t keep John confined to a single place.He knows that feeling all too well to put it onto another person.

“I panicked, I don’t have a good history with people who work there.” John’s hand hovered over the bruises on his throat but didn’t touch it.Smitty could hear his breathing speed up and his heart start to pound in his chest.They were both wound up and anxious.“I can handle being alone for a few hours.Need to get a feel of the place anyways.”

“Alright, man.” John stepped away and something wooden slid open.A clothes drawer, he assumed.He held up two shirts.“Palm trees or plaid?”

 

***

 

Jay was sure that his friends could handle themselves.They acted like children, sometimes, but he did too.They could get their shit together when needed and that was all that mattered.Jay, however, did not trust Swagger to come back on time. 

He’d been waiting at the castle, Mason talking to him just outside the castle wall, when he’d gotten Swagger’s text.“ _whatever dude come get me if youre so smart_ ” and Jay wanted to roll his eyes.He wanted to just wait for a few hours and goof off, yet he couldn’t.Jay just knew something was wrong, because it had taken him so long to respond and hadn’t gotten word since. 

Mason was looking over his shoulder, reading the text with him.“Swag’s fuckin with ya, I bet.He’s on his way back, I wouldn’t worry.” Mason patted his shoulder and went back to walking around.Jay was caught in between believing Mason or going after him.In a spark of genius, he grabbed Mason by the arm and pulled him into the forest with him.  

“C’mon, let’s go find him together.” He offered, smiling in efforts to persuade him.Mason groaned, slipping his arm out of his sleeve and trying to walk in the other direction.

“I don’t want to,” he whined, “they’ve got food back there!” 

“Baby.” Jay chided.

 “I’m not the baby, you are!” Mason stopped tugging against him, instead reclaiming his sleeve and jabbing a finger at him.

“Such a baby,” he shot back.“You’re a gay baby and gay babies have to go into forests to find their friends.” Mason stuck out his tongue and the two continued forwards.The two kept a steady pace, stopping every now and then to tease each other or stalk an animal.

It was getting dark fast and Swagger had shown no signs of being found.Jay was getting uneasy. 

He turned on his flashlight and made Mason do the same.What could be taking him so long..?A dark thought hit Jay, was Swagger hurt?He couldn’t think of that now, finding him sooner would mean that the chances of happening were slimmer.Jay looked over at Mason.“Hey, has he ever done this before?You’ve known him longer than I have.”

“Not really,” Mason rubs his eyes, “he gets lost a lot but he’s more prepared about it.You don’t think something happened to him, do you?” Jay shook his head quickly.Getting Mason anxious was the last thing he needed now.

“Swagger’s got his gun.He’s okay, he has to be.” As Jay sighed, Mason tugged on his arm.He tilted his head to look up at him, wondering what he needed.Mason’s eyes were blown wide and he held up his flashlight.Jay slowly turned his head, following the beam until it settled on a tree. 

Its trunk was covered in scratches, blood and sap mixing together.Jay swallowed his fear and tears, turning his head away.“Let’s keep on going,” he had to keep composed.If he freaked out, then Mason would.The two moved past the tree, a lot closer now.Jay didn’t know what had exactly provoked it, but he slowly took Mason’s hand in his.The tension in his chest faded, Mason’s thumb rubbing the back of his hand rythematically.

They could do this.They could find Swagger.They had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like some platonic male/male friendship to end it! Next chapter will be more focused on what’s happening to John and Swagger, might be longer than the other chapters.
> 
> On the other hand, I’ll be doing an October daily writing prompt challenge, so it may be a little postponed. Also I made a tumblr, so you can go check that out if you want. 
> 
> garbointhetrashcan.tumblr.com
> 
> That’s all, hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	10. Weakened Wood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I’m back! Before you go on to read, just a little TW of depression. It isn’t that bad but I wrote it on one of my “shut down” moments where it’s sort of...difficult to do anything. That’s all.

John slid onto the long seat, posing his hands over the keys of the piano.He arched his wrists, sighing before dropping them onto the keys flatly.He didn’t want to do this.Didn’t want to practice.He usually found some sort of joy in practicing his music, but the day wasn’t a good one.John was happy to have Smitty back, but it wasn’t exactly easy to accept.

He picked at the nail polish on his fingers, knowing that he shouldn’t be.It was better than biting his nails, though.He’d grown out of that habit but it was easy to fall into again.John knew he’d have to work eventually, force himself to get up and fight off the heavy feeling that plagued him.John hated having responsibilities on days like these.

He let his hand slide off the piano and onto the seat next to him.It continued to drop, along with the rest of his body.His skin and muscle drifted from his bones, constricting and getting smaller on the floor.His eyes and organs spilled out, shifting to fit into the flesh.His bones fell off the seat, snapping smaller and situating themselves into the new form. 

John knew he’d have to find a safe place to change back, but cats didn’t have responsibilities.Cats didn’t have to go to weekly therapy sessions, they didn’t have to work, they didn’t have to deal with seeing their lost best friend show up at your door.John promptly laid down where he was and shut his eyes.

He was tired.Tired of all that had happened and all the stuff he had to hide.John wanted it to be easy, just once.One day where he didn’t have difficulty getting out of bed and doing every day tasks.John wondered if other people were as tired as he was.Toby had to be tired of him at this point.All of his friends only put up with him.

 John knew it wasn’t true.They would have left him long ago if they had gotten tired of him.The feeling persisted despite all his reassurances.John curled in on himself and did his best to block out his own mind.Just once, he needed it to be easy.

 Just...once.

 

***

 

Swagger couldn’t remember when he passed out.He was fighting with some kind of monster when it had attacked him.He attacked it in return and now...Swagger looked over, its body laying where he had shot it.He stumbled to his feet, feeling pain in his gut.He covered the wound with his hand, feeling something squirm in his palm.Swagger lifted his shirt and flinched.That had to be one of his intestines.

He continued towards the body.

 There was a hole in its head, eyes and face strangely human.It was a shapeshifter of some sort, that was for sure.He didn’t have time to clean up the waste, though.He was still bleeding and his insides were out.Swagger looked around for his phone, knowing Jay would have begun searching for him.Maybe if he could remember how it happened he could remember where it was.Swagger closed his eyes and sorted through his hazy thoughts.

_They were at a stalemate._

_Swagger’s finger didn’t dare leave the trigger, the thing had proven itself to be fast and dangerous.Swagger didn’t want to die like this.All alone and at the hands of some pathetic humanoid.He couldn’t wait here for hours, either.He had to make his mind up before it did._

_Swagger gritted his teeth and pulled the trigger.In an instant, he felt a series of sharp claws tear through his gut.It yanked in a moment of desperation, pulling at something inside of him.He could hear his shirt tearing as its jagged fingers relaxed against him.It was dead and it wasn’t letting go._

_Swagger dropped his gun, heart pounding.He was a goner.There was no way he was going to survive.What was he supposed to do?Say a final prayer, say a goodbye?No, fuck that.He wasn’t some weak-ass tragedy to show up in the news tomorrow, he was better than that._

_Swagger grabbed its wrist and loosened up the grip of its claws, the arm scaly and blue in contrast to the rest of its body.Had it really shifted just to hurt him more?Swagger felt bitterness fuel him as he yanked out the hand.He cursed and felt more blood spill out.He should have had a better plan.His head hit the ground and everything went black._

Swagger groaned, phantom pain feeding the torturous feeling that was still plaguing him.Swagger looked around, cringing at the pain in his neck.Right, its other hand had been around his neck...Why hadn’t killed him then?It had the chance and didn’t take it.

It had had consciousness, he had figured out.Had something in its brain tell it not to kill him?Swagger decided it wasn’t the best time to contemplate the morals of a monster that left him out to bleed. 

 He seriously needed to get up.Swagger wasn’t safe, yet.It might’ve had friends, he was still on the edge of consciousness, and hadn’t seen any sign of Jay coming for him.Man, he felt fucked up.

“Look at us,” he muttered to the sky, “dying so soon.Not even on your own terms.” He scowled at the stars.“This is some bullshit.There’s not even a dragon around.” He shut his eyes and covered his face with his hand.What was he supposed to do?Get it over with?Scream for help and pray?“Damn it,” Swagger felt his eyes water, blaming it on his pain.He wasn’t going to cry, not now.

He heard plants rustle behind him, pulling him out of his thoughts.Was someone here?Or was it something to finish him off?His gun was in crawling distance, but not in reach.Being eaten alive was worse than whatever torture he was already being subjected to.

“Jay!” Swagger laughed without a hint of humor.Pure relief ran over him, the feeling better than anything he had ever experienced. 

“Mason, help me up.” He answered.Jay and Mason’s footsteps fell into line with each other’s, both running to his voice as fast as possible.

“Swagger holy shit!” Jay hugged him, pulling him off his back.“Don’t you fucking do that again, I’m going to have a stroke because of you!” He stared past his shoulders and focused on the monster’s corpse.“Jesus Christ you’ve had a rough time.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Swagger’s body was straining from the sudden change in posture.“Hey, I’m gonna be gone pretty soon.Can you carry me back?” He hugged him back with what was left of his strength and slumped against him.Jay turned to face Mason, who seemed as if he hadn’t blinked this whole time. 

Jay had to admit, the scene was hard to look away from.Swagger’s blood was just beginning to dry on the grass and a corpse of...something was only a few feet away.“Hey,” he swallowed, “can you help me pick him up?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mason barely reacted, he took Swagger from Jay’s around all on his own and began walking back.He picked up Swagger’s gun and phone, regretting how long it took him to go after him.Maybe if he was there then—No!He couldn’t think like that.There was no way he could have known what would happen.It wasn’t his fault.

It-it wasn’t, right?

 

***

 

Toby found John six hours later, curled up on the floor of their practice room with a flute in hand.He sighed, knowing he wasn’t asleep.Toby sat beside John, keeping his distance in case he needed it.“Hey, John,” he murmured, “is it okay if I touch you?” John didn’t reply.He blinked slowly, eyes fixed on the window as his breathing became deeper.“I’m sorry I didn’t find you earlier.I figured you were busy but you weren’t, were you?” He put a hand on his back, not retreating when John didn’t react. 

He rubbed it up and down his spine, staring at him with all sorts of love and appreciation.“I know these days are really hard on you,” he continued, “I know I should be better at finding all the things that send you into your depression, I should be better at keeping them away from you...” Toby swallowed back a sob, tears on the verge of falling.“But I love you, you know?I should be a better boyfriend and you work so hard everyday without me noticing it.I’m...sorry.” Toby hiccuped.“I really am.I love you.” 

John’s eyes drifted away from the window, back to his boyfriend’s tear-streaked face.He sat up, his arms tired from the effort, and pulled him into a hug.“I love you,” he croaked, his voice unwilling to use the energy to speak any more than that.Toby smiled and hugged him back, beyond glad that John was fighting so hard.

He loved him, he really, really did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this took so long, my internet has been down these past few days. I’ll sort all this stuff out soon, I promise.
> 
> For readers who had only read this work, just a reminder that “Tower” is sort of an introduction to the whole story.
> 
> Thank you for all the support, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!


	11. Dusty Attic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!TW FOR ABUSE/TORTURE!!!  
>  If references/aftermath of abuse can be triggering please move past the italicized text! I will have a brief summary in the end notes.

“How’s he holding up?” Toby asked as he and John reached the door, quickly letting go of his hand.John winced, but knew he couldn’t reclaim it in front of anyone else. 

The nurse sighed, shaking his head.“The doctor is doing all she can, his surgery has been going on for a few hours.He was brought in just in time.There’s a waiting room, if you need.” He held the door open and Toby thanked him, rushing through and eyes settling on Jay.

He had his head in his hands, staring at the floor blankly.Mason was curled up in the corner, asleep and exhausted.Matt, the most visibly anxious one, was tugging at his hair in concern.Bordie was prying his fingers away, not wanting him to hurt himself.Fitz’s arms were crossed, leg bouncing impatiently.He turned, staring up at Toby.He sat by him, glancing nervously to his friend.“Do you know what happened?” He asked softly, trying to make sure no one else heard.Fitz shook his head.

“Matt tried asking Mason and Jay but they aren’t talking, I haven’t tried either.”

“How long has he been like this?” Toby questioned.

“Mason hasn’t been talking since they brought him back, I guess for a few hours at least.Six, maybe.” Toby cursed, a chill going down his spine.Had Swagger seriously been like this for six hours?More?Jay and Mason had been the ones to find him, and they couldn’t get anything out of them.They probably didn’t find him right after, so Swagger could have been like this for longer. 

Toby turned to Matt, suddenly understanding his severe anxiety.John was still in the doorway, eyebrows creased but his face otherwise unreadable.He wanted to speak, to tell him to sit down with him and just be there like the rest of them.John wasn’t one for waiting.

He bit his lip, eyes glassy.John locked eyes with Toby.He shook his head, turning around and leaving.The door shut with a slam, the sound ringing through the room.Fitz and Toby looked at each other, worry and confusion settling.

What the hell happened?

 

_***_

 

_Everything was dark.Smitty blinked, trying to adjust to it.Where was he?Last he could remember he was with John.Then he’d left with someone...The preacher?Smitty presses his hands against his temples, a headache coming on._

_“Get up, son, you need to go,” a voice whispered.Smitty knew that voice, it was a kind one._

_“Oliver?” Smitty croaked, “why’s it so dark?” Oliver hoisted him to his feet, Smitty stumbling at the motion.His grip hurt, why was he grabbing him so tightly?Smitty wanted to know what was going on.“Oliver what’s happening?Where am I?”_

_“Son you need to go!Run!Anywhere you can, just go.” He turned Smitty around, shoving him away._  

_“Oliver, ple—“ a door slammed, jolting Smitty.He could smell fresh air, but that wasn’t right.There was always light of some kind, a few house lights or the moon itself.There wasn’t anything now._

_Smitty rubbed his eyes.His whole face lit up with pain, tears coming on before he could stop them.He cried out, touching his face.Slick, iron-smelling liquid was doused all over him.Blood.Where had he gotten blood from?Smitty shook out his arms, calming himself.This was fine, he was okay, he—Smitty touched his wrists._  

_There was rope still tied around them, digging into his skin and down to the bone.He...He could remember something.He was being hurt, tortured, being prepared for burning.He had witnessed it happen to witches and it was painful seeing what had happened to them.He was going to burn and Oliver had saved him._

_But now he had to run._

_Smitty followed his instincts, recalling his way around the city and into the woods.He turned left when another wave of pain surrounded him.His back ached like hell, a wave of red dripping down to his shorts.He had to know what it was.He needed to remember everything that had happened before he bled out.“Doctor,” he whispered, “I need a doctor.”_

_He raked his mind for places to go and what he had gone through.Can’t go to the hospital, they’ll tell the church, can’t go to the witch doctor, he got hung last month, can’t go to John, he couldn’t risk getting him in trouble either.“Whips,” he recalled in the middle of heading down Paisley Street.They’d whipped him until he passed out, yelling things he didn’t understand._

_Smitty shuddered and gave up on help, he needed to leave.He smelled the air, food and spice strong.Eleanor Avenue, he was close to the outskirts.He couldn’t go right through the busy streets, though.He had to take the back route.Smitty pushed back his dread and slipped into an alleyway._

_He put his hand against the wall, body catching up with him.His legs were shaky, he’d been on his knees for what had to be at least two days.He needed to go.Smitty pushed off his feet and started running again._

 

_***_

Fitz wanted to stay.He wanted to stay there until Swagger woke up and he was completely fine.God, he didn’t want to be a prince, he wanted to be a friend.His father had other plans.

A maid came in a few hours later after Toby had joined them.She bit her lip, clearly sensing the tension in the room.“The—the king requires your presence, Prince.” She said, her voice high and soft.Fitz clenched his fists, not bothering to face her.

“Tell him to wait.”

“He says it’s important.”

“Then tell him to fuck off!Whatever he has to say is shit.” Swagger was more important.Being with everyone was more important.

“Sir, please...” She sounded like she was going to cry.Fitz stood up, ignoring Toby’s hold on his wrist.He walked over to the maid, who couldn’t have been over 160cm.

“Tell him, in my exact words, ‘Piss.Off.’” She was nearly shaking.Fitz sighed, letting go of him him anger.He turned back to his friends, who had all watched the scene play out.“Alright.I’m coming.”

“We’ll tell you if he wakes up...” Bordie offers.He nods and follows the woman out of the room.

They walk down the halls in silence, Fitz stuffing down his need to cry.He didn’t want to leave.He didn’t want Swagger to wake up and see that he wasn’t there with the rest of them.The thought felt like someone had ripped out his heart and was crushing it. 

“He’s inside.” She whispered, telling him that they had arrived.He nodded, hand touching the handle. 

“I’m sorry I yelled.I didn’t mean to scare you.” She stared down at the floor and nodded slowly.

“I understand.It must be hard to deal with.”

“Yeah,” he felt out of breath with that single word.She turned and walked back out of sight.Fitz shook off the lingering guilt he was carrying and opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smitty is taken from the church, told to run and not get caught. While trying to find a place to hide, he notices he is bleeding but he can’t see anything. He reaches the edge of town and goes through an alleyway to the woods.
> 
> I am extremely sorry for the wait, it was difficult to write the background and set up a scene for the text chapter. As always, comments and kudos are appreciated. Love you all.


	12. A Leak From The Ceiling...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversational scene between Fitz and the king, enjoy!

“I expected this to be a private conversation,” Fitz said, words clipped and harsh.He was glancing between his father and the unwelcome guest, anger simmering in his chest.“Duchess Cassid—“

“Orlena, please,” she cut off.He sighed, adjusting his jacket and nodding.

“Orlena, I didn’t expect this to be a...national matter.” He turned back to his father.“Why did you want to see me?” He asked.The king motioned to the duchess.

“I didn’t get the chance to elaborate on our conversation a few nights ago.” He explained.Fitz walked over to one of the cabinets, a hand gripping the side.He was going to fall if he didn’t keep his balance.“As you know, the duchess here has a very vast kingdom she’s set to inhabit.However, this makes her land a large target of attack.”

“We need allies.” Orlena agreed, though sounding wary.She was glancing between him and the king, as if his father had noticed Fitz begin to shake.“And you have a...um...strong army.Are you—are you okay?” She walked over to him, carefully pulling him off the cabinet and to his feet.She was holding onto his arm, keeping him upright.Fitz shuddered as if he had just realized where he was.

“Thank you, Duchess.” She let go after deciding he had regained enough strength.  He glared at his father.  “Is there no other way to join our kingdoms.  Like, I don’t know, a treaty?  Why the fuck aren’t we—“

“Language!” His father snapped.Fitz rolled his eyes, teeth grinding against each other.

“Why the fuck can’t we be a little more advanced?Come hell and you’d still refuse to do anything that strayed from your age old traditions!” He yelled.Fitz was mad beyond belief, he hadn’t even had an option in the decision.“Every single other kingdom has gone and changed for the better except for us.”

“Cameron,” the king grumbled, dragging a hand down his face in exhaustion.“Again, this is also about the future.We both need heirs, you need to put your emotions aside.This is a political decision, not something we base off comparability.” He approached his son, putting a hand on his face.Fitz slapped the hand away, staring him straight in the eyes. 

“When did I become nothing to you?” He muttered.

“God, don’t start again.I’d hate to send you back to New Zealand.” He complained, irritation becoming more obvious.“I thought ten years of boarding school would be enough to straighten you out.”

“And I thought ten years without a son would teach you to be less of an asshole to your kids.” Fitz retorted.He turned back to the duchess, noticing that she had witnessed all of heir arguing.“I suggest you leave for awhile,” the staff got more than an earful of the arguments he’d had with the king.

“No, she stays.I have business to attend to anyways,” his father retorted.Fitz growled at the venom behind his comment and tried to burn a hole in his back as he strode out the door.

The moment the door closed he stumbled again.He hadn’t even noticed how tense he had become, it was hard to breathe and his eyes felt glassy.He wiped away his tears before they fell and sat down in one of the chairs.He flexed his fingers, trying to stop the shaking. 

Small hands touched his shoulders and he flinched.He didn’t turn around to see who it was, only groaning as he felt pressure between his shoulder blades.It slowly got easier to breathe, all his anger seeming to slip away from him.“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Fitz said once Orlena pulled her hands away.“We don’t,” he shook his head, “we don’t have the best relationship.”

“As I can see.” She tensed.“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.But I can understand why you’re upset.This isn’t the most thrilling thing for me, either.” He quirked an eyebrow at her response.He crossed his arms, ready to listen for her reasoning.She rubbed the back of her neck, taking a moment to collect her thoughts.“There’s already someone I’m after.From a kingdom, even!” She threw up her hands.

She had the expression of a hopeless romantic, Fitz noticed.She had to be heartbroken over the arranged marriage.Especially since it came with the expectation of another generation of rulers.“A bit of a Romeo and Juliet situation?” He wondered.She bit her lip, staring up at the ceiling.

“But with a larger body count,” she looked close to tears.“I’m not the best child, either.Too adventurous, too careless.I’m ‘poisoning’ myself with ‘dangerous waters’, as my parents say.” She laughed, running her fingers through her hair.“You know the kingdom of Aers, right?” He nodded.They’d been a threat over Orlena’s kingdom for generations.At every turn they looked to be on the brink of a war.

“One of their own,” Fitz held back his gasp, deciding humor wasn’t the best thing to contribute.Orlena smiled, putting her face in her hands.

“Dear Princess Wyss, I think our relationship would cause a problem.Don’t you?”

“It’d be fucking hell,” he agreed.

“What about you?Have anyone you’ve got in mind?I know both of us would rather marry for love than power.” Fitz’s mouth moved to answer before he had time to think.

“Yeah, actually.His name’s Smitty.” And shit, where had that come from?His heart clenched, making it even harder to breathe.“Fuck...No, it’s not him.I don’t know why I said his name.” He chuckled, his whole face burning in despair.“But yes, I’d rather marry someone that actually loves me.” They sat in silence for awhile, letting the tension rise until it began to choke them.

“I’d better go, my parents are still outside.” Orlena stood, waving goodbye to Fitz and walking to the door.“Oh, and Fitz?” He hummed, looking to face her.“I think you know why you said his name.” She smiled and shut the door. 

He buried his face in his hand, blushing again.Why his name above all?Why not even a girl’s?He didn’t even want to think about him.About Smitty still alone in that tower, no one to talk and listen to.Fitz was glad he was sitting down, he was tired of losing his balance so often.God, what a pathetic mess.

“You should go visit him,” he murmured to himself, as if it was an angel on his shoulder speaking to him.“He probably misses you.” Fitz sighed at the thought.“He hates you, though.He doesn’t want to see you.” There was the devil he was waiting for.He looked to his left shoulder, wondering if a red-clad version of himself would be there.Yet, nothing.He was just acting insane and talking to himself instead.“It wouldn’t hurt to try.” He argued half-heartedly.

His legs moved towards the stables faster than his mind did.

 

***

 

The door shut with a slam.Bordie jumped, quickly shoving the vial of rat poison she was holding into a cabinet.She snapped her fingers, cauldron in her kitchen switching back into an oven.She stuffed the lavender and basil back into its vase, putting it on the counter and sitting down at her table.“In here!” She called.

“Ma’am, we’re going to need you to come with us.” Shit...that wasn’t a familiar voice.A guard stepped into the doorway of her kitchen, her emotions flaring.

“I’m sorry but where’s your warrant?” Bordie knew fuck-all about the law, but she guessed it was necessary to barge into someone’s house like he did.“I don’t appreciate being accused for things.How would your boss feel knowing that you’ve broken into an innocent woman’s house and—“

“Miss.” He set a piece of paper in front of her.“You’re being brought in for questioning under the assumption that you’ve been involved in the practice of witchcraft.Please come peacefully.” She swallowed, biting her lip as she examined her paper.She couldn’t be found out, not now.

“...What lead to this investigation?”

“Your relationship with shapeshifter case #45, John Cryo.”

_Shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you if the Der Kinderlumper song is stuck in your head? Write!
> 
> Anyways, love you all and I always appreciate comments and kudos!


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